Or better yet, they sit in the comfort of their own home, surf the web, and hunt you through your status updates and Facebook photos you get tagged in. Yes, that was us in the Dominican, frolicking on the beach. While I’d like to believe the best in everyone, that they are merely looking out for me, I am not so naive. I am waiting for the proverbial poop to hit the fan. They can simply spy through the blinds across the street or stalk her house at all hours of the night pretending they were “just stopping by to say hi”.Before I started dating that was something I did worry about though.
Sadly, the name switch up is just part of being widowed.
You can’t love someone all your life, whispering their name out loud and in your thoughts a thousand times a day without inevitably letting it slip out. It did, however, make me more forgiving of my poor mother who was constantly trying to keep her five kids’ names straight.
I did sweat a little over starting to date after only a couple months. Of course I waited several months to make sure it was more of a serious relationship before I opened up to them.
Not because I didn’t feel ready, but because I was sick with worry over what others might think. A very wise widow once told me, “I fulfilled every marriage vow right until death do us part – can others say the same? I also brought up the general topic of potentially dating and shared with them how I felt several times leading up to the big announcement.
I envisioned all sorts of horrible scenarios in front of a church full of people, melting into a gooey puddle of shame after blurting out the wrong name (instead I called myself by my new husband’s name…
which was funny and only slightly less embarrassing).
Some widows are comfortable dating as early as a month or two out, others wait years, and some never date again at all.
This is a personal choice that each widow must make for herself. I was very up front with them and told them how I felt and what was going on.
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I sit back down, slide my laptop over, hit refresh. In a world of social media and worldwide gossip, neighbours no longer need to walk three miles to gossip about the love life of the local widow.